So I decided to be a little snarky.
I renamed the ship "FUCKED"; and it was manned by "Really Screwed," "Totally Boned", and "Already Dead."
Of course, halfway through sector 2, I've saved up some scrap for shields....
And what do mine eyes spy?
A SHINY PRE-IGNITER! YES!
Now it's time to really give it my all! So after buying it, saving up another 150 for shields was a trivial matter... all I have for lowering shields at this point is a heavy laser mark 1. I'm confident I'll find something better. Little do I know, though, that the game was only toying with me; as the shops refuse to offer me an upgrade to my weaponry.
I meet my end via a Rebel Rigger with three shield bubbles, a BL2, and an Artemis. My only hope is to chip away at it. Problem is, its defense drone mark 1 thought otherwise. Between my cloaks, I was taking a horrendous beating. Wait, why would a mark 1 be a problem? BECAUSE...
Twice.
TWICE.
It intercepted my heavy laser, throwing its own body forward and sacrificing itself in a show of dedication, leaving my glaive beam all charged up with nothing to shoot at.
Now, naturally, a lucky shot hit my engines and set two fires. Door control went next after I vented them, so I couldn't repair my vented engines. Alright, maybe I can get a lucky hit in and do some much-needed weapon damage.
MISS.
Then, stray shots kept hitting my weapons, knocking the heavy laser offline and preventing me from getting the enemy shields into penetration territory.
My ship went up in flames, and I felt a pang in my heart; having done the impossible and screwed up a situation that was almost a guaranteed win.