Introductionary FTL fanfic

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Grani
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2014 5:35 pm

Introductionary FTL fanfic

Post by Grani »

It's the first time I try myself at fanfiction. And I'm not a native English speaker, so I'm well aware it might suck, but bear with me. :)
Well, everyone is supposed to think of their own story behind FTL, the player's mission, the galactic conflict, etc. So, here's my outlook on it! This short introductionary fanfic takes place moments before the game begins and attempts to provide some explanation as to what's going on. Hope you like it!
This planet still officially belongs to the Federation, but Rebels have gained considerable support
among the locals. You wonder how much longer it will be before it falls into their hands. Your ship and
your crew await you on the airstrip, quite a distance from the rusty, abandoned hangar you found
yourself in. You sit there silently for what feels like hours. The only sound you can hear is your
fingers knocking the desk nervously. Finally, a tall human enters the hangar.
-Greetings, captain. I've been awaiting you.
They're going too far.
-Just WHO is the one waiting, admiral Trialer?
The man appears puzzled.
-Please accept my apologies. I had to make sure I was not being followed.
You wonder what happened to the mighty Federation and its perky commanders.
-What about me? The Rebels are already on my tail. They know my name, they can recognize my ship and,
what's of importance right now, they already know the objective of our meeting. Make it quick, admiral.
Trialer seems to see your frustration. You have no intention of hiding it anyway. You are nervous. You
have every right to be. The task you are about to accept is a suicide, but what options do you have?
Either the Rebels kill you or you die trying to deliver a message that's, according to some, capable of
securing a victory for the Federation. The admiral tries to conceal his own doubt.
-That's right. Here it is.
You are given a small holographic device. Unimpressed, yet curious, you press the button which results
in an image display above the device. A ship schematics. You analyze it quickly, your eyes familiar
with ship design like none other. You don't find it interesting at first. A powerful ship, that's true.
You might only wonder how many traitorous ex-Federation master engineers could have devised this
monstrosity. Is that supposed to bring hope to the remnants of the great galactic government that the
Federation once was? Right now it only seems to confirm that all is lost. You stop for a moment. What's
this? Your heart starts to beat faster. You can feel what you haven't felt in weeks. Hope. Excitement.
Just a grain, but it's still something. You slowly shut down the display and turn towards the admiral
again.
-This weakness, if exploited successfully, can turn the tides in our favor.
Trialer doesn't seem to share your optimism. He's not even trying to hide his doubts anymore.
Federation officials have become such flegmatic fools ever since the Rebels gained the upper hand.
-I'm not sure, captain. It's true, this piece of data our spies managed to steal from the Rebels
explains how they could have destroyed almost all of our fleets so easily, but it doesn't get us closer
to achieving anything.
Your frustration is slowly returning while the admiral carries on.
-We have only one fleet left and it's stationed thousands of light years away from us! And you've seen
it yourself, even if this data managed to reach this last Federation base before the Rebels, it's
questionable if we could destroy this Rebel Flagship!
Right, now you can clearly hear the admiral's crumbling voice. To think that just a moment ago you
yourself believed there to be no hope left.
-Well, admiral. That's what the FTL drive is for. It is fortunate that my ship is a fast one. I can
outspeed the Rebels. Besides, Rebels have a single fleet as well.
Trialer flinches nervously.
-And it destroyed five Federation fleets.
Apparently he doesn't care if he might plant seeds of doubt in your heart and ruin the last chance of
making a come back. You slowly get up from your chair.
-I've not come here to listen to your whining, Trialer. This Flagship is the key. If we destroy it,
we'll cut the whole fleet off from communication. After that destroying them will be easy.
You sigh. It's too bad that Federation didn't possess such an advanced fleet communication system.
-Whatever, it's your choice if you want to die.
You raise your eyebrows.
-Are you a traitor, admiral? Perhaps you'd prefer to join the Rebel fleet?
It's getting tense. You begin to wonder if Trialer is even sane anymore. His actions and opinions don't
sum up. You pierce him with a cold gaze as his sight wanders nervously, seemingly randomly, around the
room. He finally bursts into what seems to be a madman's rage.
-Now... now that you mention it, why shouldn't I?! The Federation has lost already! The Rebellion is
going to establish a new galactic order, whether we want it to happen or not!
You feel the urge to hit this bastard in his face, but make an effort to stop yourself from doing that.
-You're a high-ranking Federation officer, Trialer. What makes you think they wouldn't just prefer to
kill you anyway?
A moment of silence followed by the crazed admiral slowly making his next statement.
-Perhaps if I kill you right now, captain, and stop you from delivering this data, they'll let me live.
They... they might even reward me! I might become a general of the Rebel fleet! I shall...
That's it. This man has clearly gone mad before your very own eyes. He is hit before he manages to
finish his next sentence. You point a blaster in his face and look at him. He's covered in his blood,
panting, yet smiling. He speaks to you, or rather yells at you, but at the same time he appears not to
see you. What a pitiful creature, to think he used to be a proud and loyal admiral of a Federation
fleet.
-You are a fool, captain! They already know about you, their fleet is on your tail! You will NEVER make
it to the base! And if you do, the fleet and its flagship will destroy you!
Annoying. He's a madman, but what he shouts makes sense. Still, it's not going to stop you.
-The Rebellion consists of a bunch of sadists, tyrants and egoists. They find pleasure in abusing
whatever power they have. If you don't mind them succeeding in taking over the galaxy, you fit with
this scum, indeed.
You can barely contain yourself. The only thing stopping you from firing your blaster is a desire to
hear Trialer's answer.
-Ahh, I see! So it's compassion that drives you, captain? A hope for a better tomorrow?
You stand there silently, not moving your blaster an inch. Trialer continues after a small pause.
-I'll tell you a secret. If you undertake this suicidal mission, you'll become like them, sooner or
later.
-What are you talking about?
Trialer appears delighted in your apparent insecurity.
-Isn't it obvious, captain? You'll find yourself in a dire situation, sooner or later. You'll realize
you lack supplies, or crew. What will you do if you stumble upon a civilian ship then? Will you risk
failing your insane quest... or will you make a decision that lives of many outweight the lives of the
few?
You find yourself unable to answer. You don't know what you will do. One thing you know for certain,
though.
You flex your finger. All you hear is a blast, a scream and the ex-admiral falling to the ground.
You grab the priceless data from the table and turn away from the traitor, ready to leave the empty
hangar.
-The...
You stop once again to hear Trialer's last words.
-The flagship... might be the weakness of the Rebel fleet... But the Flagship itself has no weaknesses.
It's... all over.
You lower your head for a moment, yet you don't turn to face the admiral again. You will not give him
this satisfaction. The one thing you know for certain is that you have to try. You can't just sit idly.
You slowly raise your head and, disbelieving it yourself, reply.
-If need be, I'll destroy the Flagship myself.
Whether Trialer didn't survive long enough to hear this witty response or was simply astonished with
your naivety, you didn't receive any further response and didn't bother to demand any. You simply
walked away.
The Rebel authorities know your objective. They know your ship and they know you. You are a Federation
hero after all, too many Rebel Cruisers have you destroyed during this war to be left unknown. You
cannot hide. You can only run, run in the hopes of achieving your destination, Federation capital
system, where our last fleet makes its final stand.

The chase begins now and you wonder if it will be fast enough if you travel faster than light.
Last edited by Grani on Sun Jul 06, 2014 10:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.
META_mahn
Posts: 197
Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2014 9:46 pm

Re: Introductionary FTL fanfic

Post by META_mahn »

Hanzz approves.
Back from the dead. After a two year hiatus.
lumos309
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:52 pm

Re: Introductionary FTL fanfic

Post by lumos309 »

For something written by a non-native English speaker, this is very well done.
Grani
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2014 5:35 pm

Re: Introductionary FTL fanfic

Post by Grani »

Thank you very much. :mrgreen:
Engi_MachoMan
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2012 9:54 pm

Re: Introductionary FTL fanfic

Post by Engi_MachoMan »

This story seems to be heavily dependent on the introspection of the captain to drive the narrative. First person is certainly an acceptable perspective for an FTL story, particularly from a captain. The problem with the way that this story is delivered, is that it's depicted in the second person. So rather than experiencing events in such a way that grants the reader the freedom to still come to inferences separate of the main character, you're led to believe that statements by the main character are being dictated to you, rather than offered. While I don't think this is necessarily an nonviable method, it can burden the intrigue of the story if you don't grant the reader the opportunity to solve the puzzle, or figure things out somewhat autonomously. The reader of a story shouldn't BE the main character, they should be interpreting FROM the main characters perspective.

For example: "Right now it only seems to confirm that all is lost. You stop for a moment. What's
this? Your heart starts to beat faster. You can feel what you haven't felt in weeks. Hope. Excitement.
Just a grain, but it's still something.
" This depicts some revelation by the main character, something that should flirt with the readers interest. It claims that some hope is realized, but it doesn't tell us why we should feel this way, we're just told that we are. Good storytelling raises questions, and slowly answers them.

My best advice here would be to experiment rewriting it in the first person. Use the character's introspection to commentate on events, but ensure that there's enough information being deliver through neutral observation to not cage the reader too much.
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