The Misadventures of The Flying Nun!
Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:00 pm
I started a journey(my first!) today, with a 3 man crew into the great black thing that is space.
For a joke, I named two of the little guys after my brother and I. When choosing the third's name I decided on Sparks McGee. I thought it'd be amusing to see how far our little doppelgangers get, so I could tell my bro in what way he died, while I did nothing to save him. While relegating the stories to him, he suggested I send them to the internet as well.
So, here we are with the tale of three souls (two of them brave), part of the crew of The Flying Nun.
Captain Edward is me, Joshua is my bro and Sparks McGee is from http://sparksmcgeeadventures.tumblr.com. Probably copyright by Wil Wheaton, but I also sent him these ridiculous journal entries, so maybe that'll even things out.
FYI, I'm just copy/pasting these from the message board I pasted them to, with cheesy dialogue still intact. I apologize in advance for the poor formatting, I am generally terrible at this stuff.
Any dialogue will be looking like this bit of stuff here.
Sparks McGee for Supreme Space Admiral! or; A Long and Uninteresting Tale without any kind of romance or drama, so don't bother reading it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
FTL Jump 1: Everything is all set, so lets head into the great expanse of space! To boldly go and do things, until we can get this message to the Federation!
Jump to FTL now, McGee!
*gasperasp!*
Somebody placed the FTL buoy too close to a gas giant, and now we are being engaged by a pirate vessel! All hands get to the gun things, before we burn alive!
I fire up the weapons systems and send the disposable one, Josh to the weapons room thing. McGee goes and stands in the door control place, since I dunno what to do with him yet. I just sit in the pilot seat and stare into space.
Once the weapons finish charging, I lock onto the engines and shields of the pirate and fire lasers and torpedoes at them. Both hits are successful, and they attempt to jump to FTL to escape!
Alas, the sun flings molten death upon us all, and a hull breach appears near the airlocks. Its wreckin' my damn ship! The pirates, however, take the full force of the blast without shield power, and promptly become space debris.
I quickly send somebody else to repair the breach, and he (Josh) bursts into flames as the flare ignites the weapons room he occupies. He manages to power the systems down, and put out the flames, and we jump to FTL.
Damn I'm good. Captain out.
~~~~~~
FTL Jump 2: Well, there were some difficult decisions to be made, but I made 'em. Its not my fault, but...
Upon exiting FTL we ran into a Rebel Outpost of some sort inside of a nebula, with an automated defense ship protecting it. Of course, we rushed to do battle with the robotic Rebel scum. Quickly things went downhill.
The fires I thought Josh had succeeded in killing were in-fact coming from an adjacent room, and they returned and burned him to ash. I bravely left my post at the pilot chair to combat these flames with Sparks McGee. It was a hard battle.
We had to stand in a room next to the door control room, and found we had access to a Medbay. McGee promptly used some supplies to fix his slightly crispy limbs, and I bravely waited out the fire which was being fought for us by lack of oxygen. The red beast had crawled throughout 90% of the ship, and O2 was down to 20% before we won.
Quickly we rushed to the weapons room and scattered the ashes of our fallen comrade by running through them, and set to work fixing the broken stuff in there. Suddenly we had lasers and torps' up, and set to work firing them into the Rebel ship. It blew up pretty quickly, due to my great skill, and then we fixed the other broken systems.
Sensors are now up, as is the door control room, weapons and engines. After all the excitement we cracked open the Rebel station only to find some scrap metal and some other things that I forgot to document when added to the inventory. Hopefully they are torpedoes, we used a lot of those already. A few hours later, and we finish installing the new fire proof doors, and dedicate them to Joshua. May the fires of Hell never mar his smooth, nearly translucent skin.
Well, McGee is repairing himself in the medbay, and I'm jumping to FTL now.
Captain out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FTL Jump 13: Had to skip the 'jump journal' for a while, things have been hectic. Every FTL we did brought us straight to some pirates or other hostile ships.
Great. That is just great. Once again, thrust into battle with pirate ships, but this time with a twist. Turns out there is a plasma storm sapping the strength from the reactors. We're at half power, O2 systems are offline, as are shields and the medbay.
Too make matters even worse, enemies are teleporting onto the ship. I stick to piloting and screaming in terror while McGee leads the enemies into the tail end of The Nun, where he ducks into the Oxygen systems area.I kick all the airlocks open, and vent the O2, suffocating the pirates. Not fast enough though, they breach the door and enter battle with Sparks! He rushes into the fight, and punches them in the face, whilst slowly dying from lack of oxygen.
Finally we catch a break, and the pirates succumb before McGee does, allowing him to repair the O2 scrubbers and get us some air.
We jump out of system, spirits dampened. I guess things can get worse, after all.
Captain out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FTL Jump 15:
Upon entering this system, we immediately fire up weapons systems in preparation for the inevitable battle. Unfortunately, the battle takes place inside the confines of our Door Control room, as a lone tank droid thing has warped into it! McGee rushes into battle, with me following him. If that thing takes out the doors, we'll all be breathing vacuum quick-like.
The fight is long and painful. Metal plates bruise our dainty fingers and toes as we engage the robot in melee. At the last moment, Sparks steals my kill and delivers the death blow to the metal fiend. We were not prepared for what happened next; the robot exploded in a burst of fire and shrapnel, nearly killing us. We crawled to the medbay to obtain some Band-Aids, while contemplating how to seal the hull-breach. Somehow the life support took a hit, and we are losing air fast. I send McGee to get it running, while I seal the breach with liberal use of furniture and sealant.
While awaiting the FTL drive to charge, I notice the O2 system is fixed, but my eyes flit to the crew status screen, and what I see makes me feel pretty bummed out. I had forgotten to power up the life support after the repair, and Sparks McGee has died in the silent vacuum, probably cursing my name as the light fades from his eyes.
I make a mental note to have him promoted to Supreme Space Admiral upon my return. I even forgo the customary rifling of his pockets, and just send his body into the vastness of space unmolested. Except for his hat, which I keep. See you, Space Cowboy.
Hell. That is assuming I actually return. Just me and The Nun, now. I've never been a religious type , but I couldn't change the name when I got her. Just didn't seem right. Especially since the guy I won her from had no idea I was keeping all those cards in my sleeve.
Captain out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will add some more once I continue my (now very lonely)journey. Questions and comments? Please do!
For a joke, I named two of the little guys after my brother and I. When choosing the third's name I decided on Sparks McGee. I thought it'd be amusing to see how far our little doppelgangers get, so I could tell my bro in what way he died, while I did nothing to save him. While relegating the stories to him, he suggested I send them to the internet as well.
So, here we are with the tale of three souls (two of them brave), part of the crew of The Flying Nun.
Captain Edward is me, Joshua is my bro and Sparks McGee is from http://sparksmcgeeadventures.tumblr.com. Probably copyright by Wil Wheaton, but I also sent him these ridiculous journal entries, so maybe that'll even things out.
FYI, I'm just copy/pasting these from the message board I pasted them to, with cheesy dialogue still intact. I apologize in advance for the poor formatting, I am generally terrible at this stuff.
Any dialogue will be looking like this bit of stuff here.
Sparks McGee for Supreme Space Admiral! or; A Long and Uninteresting Tale without any kind of romance or drama, so don't bother reading it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
FTL Jump 1: Everything is all set, so lets head into the great expanse of space! To boldly go and do things, until we can get this message to the Federation!
Jump to FTL now, McGee!
*gasperasp!*
Somebody placed the FTL buoy too close to a gas giant, and now we are being engaged by a pirate vessel! All hands get to the gun things, before we burn alive!
I fire up the weapons systems and send the disposable one, Josh to the weapons room thing. McGee goes and stands in the door control place, since I dunno what to do with him yet. I just sit in the pilot seat and stare into space.
Once the weapons finish charging, I lock onto the engines and shields of the pirate and fire lasers and torpedoes at them. Both hits are successful, and they attempt to jump to FTL to escape!
Alas, the sun flings molten death upon us all, and a hull breach appears near the airlocks. Its wreckin' my damn ship! The pirates, however, take the full force of the blast without shield power, and promptly become space debris.
I quickly send somebody else to repair the breach, and he (Josh) bursts into flames as the flare ignites the weapons room he occupies. He manages to power the systems down, and put out the flames, and we jump to FTL.
Damn I'm good. Captain out.
~~~~~~
FTL Jump 2: Well, there were some difficult decisions to be made, but I made 'em. Its not my fault, but...
Upon exiting FTL we ran into a Rebel Outpost of some sort inside of a nebula, with an automated defense ship protecting it. Of course, we rushed to do battle with the robotic Rebel scum. Quickly things went downhill.
The fires I thought Josh had succeeded in killing were in-fact coming from an adjacent room, and they returned and burned him to ash. I bravely left my post at the pilot chair to combat these flames with Sparks McGee. It was a hard battle.
We had to stand in a room next to the door control room, and found we had access to a Medbay. McGee promptly used some supplies to fix his slightly crispy limbs, and I bravely waited out the fire which was being fought for us by lack of oxygen. The red beast had crawled throughout 90% of the ship, and O2 was down to 20% before we won.
Quickly we rushed to the weapons room and scattered the ashes of our fallen comrade by running through them, and set to work fixing the broken stuff in there. Suddenly we had lasers and torps' up, and set to work firing them into the Rebel ship. It blew up pretty quickly, due to my great skill, and then we fixed the other broken systems.
Sensors are now up, as is the door control room, weapons and engines. After all the excitement we cracked open the Rebel station only to find some scrap metal and some other things that I forgot to document when added to the inventory. Hopefully they are torpedoes, we used a lot of those already. A few hours later, and we finish installing the new fire proof doors, and dedicate them to Joshua. May the fires of Hell never mar his smooth, nearly translucent skin.
Well, McGee is repairing himself in the medbay, and I'm jumping to FTL now.
Captain out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FTL Jump 13: Had to skip the 'jump journal' for a while, things have been hectic. Every FTL we did brought us straight to some pirates or other hostile ships.
Great. That is just great. Once again, thrust into battle with pirate ships, but this time with a twist. Turns out there is a plasma storm sapping the strength from the reactors. We're at half power, O2 systems are offline, as are shields and the medbay.
Too make matters even worse, enemies are teleporting onto the ship. I stick to piloting and screaming in terror while McGee leads the enemies into the tail end of The Nun, where he ducks into the Oxygen systems area.I kick all the airlocks open, and vent the O2, suffocating the pirates. Not fast enough though, they breach the door and enter battle with Sparks! He rushes into the fight, and punches them in the face, whilst slowly dying from lack of oxygen.
Finally we catch a break, and the pirates succumb before McGee does, allowing him to repair the O2 scrubbers and get us some air.
We jump out of system, spirits dampened. I guess things can get worse, after all.
Captain out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FTL Jump 15:
Upon entering this system, we immediately fire up weapons systems in preparation for the inevitable battle. Unfortunately, the battle takes place inside the confines of our Door Control room, as a lone tank droid thing has warped into it! McGee rushes into battle, with me following him. If that thing takes out the doors, we'll all be breathing vacuum quick-like.
The fight is long and painful. Metal plates bruise our dainty fingers and toes as we engage the robot in melee. At the last moment, Sparks steals my kill and delivers the death blow to the metal fiend. We were not prepared for what happened next; the robot exploded in a burst of fire and shrapnel, nearly killing us. We crawled to the medbay to obtain some Band-Aids, while contemplating how to seal the hull-breach. Somehow the life support took a hit, and we are losing air fast. I send McGee to get it running, while I seal the breach with liberal use of furniture and sealant.
While awaiting the FTL drive to charge, I notice the O2 system is fixed, but my eyes flit to the crew status screen, and what I see makes me feel pretty bummed out. I had forgotten to power up the life support after the repair, and Sparks McGee has died in the silent vacuum, probably cursing my name as the light fades from his eyes.
I make a mental note to have him promoted to Supreme Space Admiral upon my return. I even forgo the customary rifling of his pockets, and just send his body into the vastness of space unmolested. Except for his hat, which I keep. See you, Space Cowboy.
Hell. That is assuming I actually return. Just me and The Nun, now. I've never been a religious type , but I couldn't change the name when I got her. Just didn't seem right. Especially since the guy I won her from had no idea I was keeping all those cards in my sleeve.
Captain out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will add some more once I continue my (now very lonely)journey. Questions and comments? Please do!