FTL Towel Boy for Hire

[agigabyte]

Your talent for well constructed lies is simply astounding.

[Tharsis]

The Engi Brigade calculates a 1.5% chance that the Mantis are behind any of the transmittions. To put you at ease, I would like to assure you we are not being placed in any danger by said Mantis and we are helping you purely out of free will. Out calculation was 100% accurate.

Sincerely
10011011110100100101101101

[agigabyte]

That is even worse.

[stylesrj]

See meatsack, even the Engies believe that the mantis are not behind this. We are totally Federation Command and this is Admiral Tolly. Now, will you serve upon the Basilisk and help with our towel problems?

((I don't think the OP is ever coming back but still, this is all hilarious as we all fight over this one guy for towel duty ))

[agigabyte]

((Is this part of the Engi Conspiracy 'Verse now?))


And we just freed the Engi with a commando raid.

[stylesrj]

((I hope it's not))

Dear Foolish Meatsack Towelboy,

Meatsack, we just got word that the Engies calculations are 100% wrong. If you go with those sacks of computers, they will capture and enslave you.
Federation Command is being very generous. You should know because I am Admirable Tollo and I am always for you foolish meatsacks.

Regards,
Still totally Federation Command. Not Mantises and definitely not Engies looking to enslave you. Join us for dinner already!

[Tharsis]

((The Engi Conspiracy died, and this is not part of it))

Mission: acquire towel boy

Status: incomplete

We are a different group of Engies looking for a towel boy (in the background "that meatsack will surely fall to this plan" is heard faintly) we pay well and have good living conditions. We are not being pressured by mantises or anything, so come over to Engi Controlled Sector 6 long range "exit" jump beacon. Thank you for your cooperation ("foolish meatsack" is heard again faintly).

Thank you for considering us
111100001111000011110000

[agigabyte]

((I just wondered because Dire is in.))

Damnit. Looks like he left while he could. Makes sense after seeing our responses.

[DarkPhoenix141]

This continues to seem legit.

[agigabyte]

Also, Mantis person, we can hear you in the background.

Where did you get all those Engi from?

(The thread itself is dead but Phoenix and I are doing fics set in the ECV)