The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Have a great FTL experience you would like to share? Post here!
dyno101
Posts: 337
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 10:04 pm

The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Postby dyno101 » Mon Nov 30, 2015 10:11 pm

Another fan-fiction!
I might continue my first fan-fiction, but I don't think I will.
Chapter 1
Sowing the seeds

Kazaaakapethkilik wandered to the helm of his newly "earned" scout cruiser.
He was a slave forced to teleport onboard the ship and kill its crew. The slaver ship he was held captive by jumped away without teleporting him back, abandoning him.
Or, as he liked to think of it, "Gave" him his very own ship.
Anger burned inside him as he met the last remaining crewmember, the captain, in the piloting cockpit.
"Hm. Here to challenge me, eh?"
The captain stepped backwards.
"Look, I-uh.. I-I work at a nearby research station. This ship is yours, all I want is to g-get to the station."
"I don-"
Kazaaakapethkilik was interrupted by the captain running to the ship's teleportation room and warping to the station.
"That works."
He looked around at his new ship. 4-man advanced teleportation and an advanced medbay was a perfect fit for him.
"Let's see.. No good ship is without a name. The...
Basilisk! The basilisk.
What a perfect little ship."
"There isn't good or bad. There's just insane."
"Blamsauce!"
User avatar
Fireclaw27
Posts: 72
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2015 12:44 pm

Re: The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Postby Fireclaw27 » Mon Nov 30, 2015 10:20 pm

Kazaaakapethkilik - a slave? :o
User avatar
stylesrj
Posts: 3645
Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2014 7:54 am
Location: The Shrike
Contact:

Re: The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Postby stylesrj » Mon Nov 30, 2015 10:26 pm

Hate to be that guy but I'd like more details into the characters and setting.

Was the Captain of that Basilisk a Human? Why were they flying a Mantis ship? Was the research station studying it or something? Why would it be out in the middle of pirate/slaver territory and not quickly hurried to a secure zone and guarded by people who wouldn't flinch at having a Mantis board their vessel?

Or is the Basilisk some other vessel and has nothing to do with the Mantis cruiser, but it has the advanced hardware of it?

Fireclaw27 wrote:Kazaaakapethkilik - a slave? :o


That part actually makes for a good story. A Mantis slave working their way towards the legend we know and kill 2/3 of the time we enter the Mantis Homeworlds because dammit, we didn't upgrade our sensors and medbay!
dyno101
Posts: 337
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 10:04 pm

Re: The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Postby dyno101 » Wed Dec 02, 2015 11:22 pm

Thanks for the knowledge! I'll do my best.
Chapter 2
Where beginnings begin.

"What's first, my little basilisk?"
Kazaaakapethkilik browsed through the ship's sensors. He had just arrived at a new beacon after finally finding the "JUMP" button.
"A rebel fighter escorting a... bigger rebel fighter."
The rebel fighter hailed. A human face appeared on Kazaaakapethkilik's monitor.
"Your presence will simply be - AH! Distress! DIS- gah..."
"What a fast teleporter!"
Like any mantis, Kazaaakapethkilik was well trained in the ways of combat, and knew that 'fleshy meat-bags are weak', as the trainer put it.
Suddenly, the ship's hull rattled.
"This is the captain of the M.F.K. Red-Tail! Surrender at once!"
Kazaaakapethkilik warped back to his Basilisk and returned the hail.
"Some fleshy meat-bags upgraded their life form scanners, did they? How amusing!"
"This behavior will not be tolerated. Prepare to be boarded, fool!"
After that, communications were cut and the sound of footsteps echoed through the doors. Kazaaakapethkilik ran to intercept them.
"Fire all- He's gonna leap!"
All the boarders rushed to the wall, leaving Kazaaakapethkilik hurtling directly towards the wall.
"Thought that would do you good?"
The invaders rushed into fighting positions, but one was too slow and Kazaaakapethkilik got him against the wall.
"No, Please!"
Kazaaakapethkilik stopped to try and think of a sly remark.
"Ehh.. I give up."
"AGH!!... Get...Him..."
The fighter perished against the wall, leading the rest of the boarders into a careless rage.
"ATTACK! Go for the weak spots!"
The shining lights and noises of lazer fire echoed against the walls of the ship.
"Close in! Surround him!"
Kazaaakapethkilik just stayed in one spot, dodging every shot he could.
And then he struck, when they were all in a perfect circle around him.
First the one in front, leaving the next in a quarter second haze, or about 3 times the amount a trained mantis need to strike.
Around the entire circle just like that.
"2.678 seconds. New record!" Kazaaakapethkilik said, when the boarders were scattered around the room.
"Save me..I'll give you...the keys..to get...the ship..." A weak voice sounded from behind Kazaaakapethkilik.
"And how I can I not take them from you once you're dead?"
"Passwords..."
Kazaaakapethkilik considered. If he stole the M.F.K. Red-Tail, He would be a pirate.
That life had beckoned as his wildest dream, and now it could be his.
"Fine."
"There isn't good or bad. There's just insane."
"Blamsauce!"
User avatar
stylesrj
Posts: 3645
Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2014 7:54 am
Location: The Shrike
Contact:

Re: The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Postby stylesrj » Wed Dec 02, 2015 11:47 pm

I think it's just me but when I read a fight scene, I like to imagine how the training program went for the bad guys in order for that situation to be set up where they get easily slaughtered by the single combatant.

"Hey Sarge, how should we fight a Mantis?"
"We point our guns at him and shoot him to death."
"What if he leaps?"
"Ha like that'll ever happen!"
"Well what if he does?"
"Private, don't you know anything from boot camp!? If the Mantis leaps, we shout out what he just did and forget we're armed with guns and simply watch him move towards us."
"Then Sarge?"
"Then we get into range of his claws and fire our guns!"
"Sounds like a good plan. I can't see how anything could go wrong with that!"

Then as they get torn apart:
"Sarge! I think there's something wrong with the plan!"
"Yeah I think the Lt. had something to say about it..."
"Goddammit you idiots! He's standing in one spot! Fire at the centre of mass! Didn't they instil that directly into you since you first handled a gun?"

Basically professional soldiers falling into a careless rage because one Mantis is killing their comrades is something I really cannot imagine happening outside of an anime.
Now if those Rebels are actually pirates in Rebel uniforms, I'd understand their lack of professionalism and combat capabilities.

------------

As for how that fight scene could be written better? Go for the horror route.
Don't have Kazaaak fight in the open, have him sneak around the vents and spook the soldiers. Make them paranoid of a Mantis attack, then take them out one-by-one until the last guy surrenders because "Holy crap! Mantis Man!"

That's also how FTL does boarding best. Slow and steady with one guy or overwhelming numbers. Not Ninja Vs Army. Army wins every time if you go that route.
dyno101
Posts: 337
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 10:04 pm

Re: The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Postby dyno101 » Thu Dec 03, 2015 10:31 pm

My skills are still in the works, but I love the knowledge nonetheless.

Chapter 3
"Mine now, thank you."

Of course, Kazaaakapethkilik didn't save the bribing meat-bag for long.
Just long enough for him to enter the codes.
Afterwards that ordeal, Kazaaakapethkilik moved on to getting that M.F.K. Red-Tail.
He could probably sell the Basilisk for enough scrap to buy a teleporter for the Red-tail.
Or force the engineers to install the teleporter and use the scrap for a fanciful weapon or some mantis crew.
Of course, before any of that was possible he had to get that Red-tail.
He knew the crew onboard it would be well trained, not like the inexperienced scouts he had fought.
"Wow, the rebels have no training programs, as far as I can tell. And I quote, 'Prepare to be boarded, fool!'"
Kazaaakapethkilik set his hail to send 10 seconds from when he finished it, so he could get in the correct place for a sneak attack before
they became alert he boarded the ship.
Once on-board the Red-tail, he hid in a storage cabinet barely big enough to fit him.
He heard the echoes of the meat-bags' yelling:
"Move! Xara, Decibel, Get ready for a fight!"
Xara and Decibel were most likely the mantis of the group, seeing as they were commanded to fight him on-sight.
Kazaaakapethkilik quietly slipped out of the cabinet and stood up.
Mantis are well trained in the act of sneak attack, and with a fine swoop, all 3 meat-bags were down for the count, leaving 2 mantis to deal with.
"Ha! 2-to-1, fumbler!" One of the mantis shouted in a mocking tone.
Kazaaakapethkilik hadn't fumbled. He had merely wanted to deal with the mantis in a more respectful manner.
"Well, I assure you I don't fumble accidentally, weaklings." Kazaaakapethkilik knew that a good taunt left a mantis unfocused on the fight for a split second.
Unfortunately, these mantis were unfazed. They knew how to focus.
One of them ran behind Kazaaakapethkilik and attempted to jump on top of him. He knew this trick by heart and sub-consciously stepped to the side, and the
attacker was left falling.
Kazaaakapethkilik knew time spent falling was a time of weakness, So he leapt at the falling mantis and struck him mid-air, throwing the mantis on his side and leaving him open. Kazaaakapethkilik wasted no time in finishing the fight.
"1-to-1, now, hatchling."
"There isn't good or bad. There's just insane."
"Blamsauce!"
dyno101
Posts: 337
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 10:04 pm

Re: The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Postby dyno101 » Thu Dec 03, 2015 10:38 pm

stylesrj wrote:

Make them paranoid of a Mantis attack, then take them out one-by-one until the last guy surrenders because "Holy crap! Mantis Man!"



"Mantis man?"
How...?
"There isn't good or bad. There's just insane."
"Blamsauce!"
User avatar
stylesrj
Posts: 3645
Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2014 7:54 am
Location: The Shrike
Contact:

Re: The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Postby stylesrj » Thu Dec 03, 2015 10:47 pm

dyno101 wrote:
"Mantis man?"
How...?


Because I'm Batman!

Also, Rebels with Mantis onboard as crew? Umm, you do know that it's commonly seen that the Rebels are extremely racist and wouldn't allow aliens onboard their ships as crew (except perhaps Engies but there's a treaty and they're trying to break it using Mantis ships, not Mantis crews.)

Again, are these pirates using a Rebel ship and claiming to be Rebels so they can not get shot by Rebels?

I feel like I'm being way too negative here. But then again maybe I want to see this story blossom into something great. It's got such a good premise. Kazaaak the former slave and his rise to power. Do not let Hollywood get a hold of this story.
dyno101
Posts: 337
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 10:04 pm

Re: The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Postby dyno101 » Mon Dec 07, 2015 11:01 pm

stylesrj wrote:
dyno101 wrote:
"Mantis man?"
How...?


Because I'm Batman!

Also, Rebels with Mantis onboard as crew? Umm, you do know that it's commonly seen that the Rebels are extremely racist and wouldn't allow aliens onboard their ships as crew (except perhaps Engies but there's a treaty and they're trying to break it using Mantis ships, not Mantis crews.)

Again, are these pirates using a Rebel ship and claiming to be Rebels so they can not get shot by Rebels?

I feel like I'm being way too negative here. But then again maybe I want to see this story blossom into something great. It's got such a good premise. Kazaaak the former slave and his rise to power. Do not let Hollywood get a hold of this story.


If I were to explain that after the mistake was made, I would say that the rebels made 1 exception for the protection of their powerful M.F.K. Red-Tail.
And no, these are official rebels.
Thanks for bringing that up!
"There isn't good or bad. There's just insane."
"Blamsauce!"
dyno101
Posts: 337
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 10:04 pm

Re: The roots of a criminal : A FTL Fan-Fiction

Postby dyno101 » Mon Dec 07, 2015 11:25 pm

Chapter 4
A bit of crew

After finishing his battle, Kazaaakapethkilik decided not to give away his Basilisk but instead sell the newly-found Red-Tail.
He had the Red-Tail follow him with autopilot.
After activating the autopilot,He hadn't gotten through with 4 jumps when he stumbled across a mantis fighter.
The captain of this immediately hostile ship took one glance at his ship, which he had never seen before, and hailed it.
"Return the stolen cruiser." The fighter's captain stated.
Kazaaakapethkilik immediately returned the hail.
"Now you've proved yourself an idiot in less than 5 seconds by assuming that this ship was stolen from a mantis colony. Which it might have been, but I stole it from a research facility - or more, was forced to kill it's crew and was abandoned - and took it as my very first ship."
"Wait, how- SSSS- CACK- Ghhuhh.."
Kazaaakapethkilik knew every weak-spot of a mantis and when they were open to attack, so it was obvious the fighter's captain hadn't gone through the same training as he had.
After dealing with the rest of the crew, which proved to be weaker than the captain, he stumbled across the prisoner bay which was occupied by 3 humans and 1 engi.
1 of the humans were sleeping awkwardly on the cold floor, while the engi leaned against the wall pondering something.
The other two humans were both pacing left and right.
One of them glanced at Kazaaakapethkilik.
"Hello, boarder. What are you doing out of your Basilisk still? Shouldn't you be getting that Red-Tail of yours sold?"
Kazaaakapethkilik immediately knew what he wanted to do with the two humans.
"There isn't good or bad. There's just insane."
"Blamsauce!"

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests