FTL Towel Boy for Hire

Have a great FTL experience you would like to share? Post here!
Posts: 49
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2015 2:22 pm
Location: Trying to kill the flagship

Re: FTL Towel Boy for Hire

Postby dark33hawk » Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:46 pm

I have no idea what your talking about! We are normal humans and not metal birds.
Now to the foolish green meat sacks, please board us. We could really need the dead mantis for..a project... It's so easy to use mantis who have died of Asphyxiation as a cast with metal...Manius...that's a good name anyway please accept one of your own...we call him fish and due to the low breath he was permanently turned light green and likes to take deep breaths. He also like to record all of the time and upload it to www.totallynotaspy.com/lanius. Please take good care of him,show him your queen and all of The hives secrets.
I've grown Scales since I left. But now I'm soaring again. Off to save the Federation and have fun!
Posts: 551
Joined: Fri May 31, 2013 1:59 am

Re: FTL Towel Boy for Hire

Postby agigabyte » Wed Feb 25, 2015 5:07 am

Why do I always get the terrible actors? Maybe because of my interactions with Lord Shyamalan?
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2015 12:15 am

Re: FTL Towel Boy for Hire

Postby Bigc1180 » Tue Nov 03, 2015 12:28 am

Dear Mr. TowelBoy

After deep consideration, I regret to inform you that your services are useless aboard our great ships. The only way you could become one of our crew would be one of our captains installing a sauna/hot tub onto his ship privately, without funding from Command. Also, if you track our signal and sell it to the Federation, we will hunt you down and mercilessly destroy you and everything you love.

Best Regards,
The Rebel Command
Posts: 551
Joined: Fri May 31, 2013 1:59 am

Re: FTL Towel Boy for Hire

Postby agigabyte » Fri Nov 13, 2015 1:20 am

*Screen shakes because of Zombies* Damnit.
Posts: 337
Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 10:04 pm

Re: FTL Towel Boy for Hire

Postby dyno101 » Tue Nov 24, 2015 8:43 pm

"Oh look! A towel boy for hire!
Oh look! 1,000,000 mantis traps!
Oh look! Engi reply!"

Okay, seriously, now.
If you can man hyper stealth- I mean engines, I'll pay the 40 scrap for oxygen systems.

Meet me at 100-56-10.
(You'll figure out where that is or you can't man hyper stealth.)
"There isn't good or bad. There's just insane."
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Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Nov 07, 2015 3:00 am

Re: FTL Towel Boy for Hire

Postby Turbo_Scrooge » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:46 am

Dear bag-of-mostly-water (star tek reference, anyone?),
We are pleased to inform you that the Supreme Basilisk Slate is in need of a personal masseuse and sauna manager. In his 210 years of pampered living, his muscles are a tad stiff. Please report to Rock-Controlled sector 82 to begin your life of hardship, misery, oppression, starvation, and zero wages. Umm, no I meant a life of ease and responsibilities.
Thank you,
Coal, Inferior Pebble manufacturer.
I goof off on superluminal. If I make something cool, the I post it.

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