Search found 113 matches

by I_am_person
Sun Dec 25, 2016 7:38 am
Forum: Stories & Storytelling
Topic: Project Carma
Replies: 21
Views: 12545

Re: Project Carma

Okay. I understand that. It makes sense. But another thing. While it's yours and only your story, try not to God-mod your characters. For example, when Caden calls in 1/3 of the fleet as somebody who's merely a fighter pilot, it seems kind of out-of character. While it's okay to make some convenient...
by I_am_person
Sun Dec 25, 2016 12:21 am
Forum: Stories & Storytelling
Topic: One final chance: An FTL-RP
Replies: 899
Views: 309683

Re: One final chance: An FTL-RP

Nazia reached the airlock door as Arkangel flew off, shaking her head. The audacity of some people... As she waited for the rebel ship's volley to go off so that she wouldn't get hit, she noticed the Anti-Personnel Drone that had went out to meet Arkangel and got worried. The things were a whole lot...
by I_am_person
Sat Dec 24, 2016 6:57 pm
Forum: Stories & Storytelling
Topic: Project Carma
Replies: 21
Views: 12545

Re: Project Carma

Well, no not that it's stale. While it's a little random, in my opinion one thing that you should work on is giving your character a hero mentality. It just follows one guy who goes on and does things. Now, while this is totally fine if you can make it work, giving dialogue to... I don't know, other...
by I_am_person
Sat Dec 24, 2016 5:35 am
Forum: Stories & Storytelling
Topic: Project Carma
Replies: 21
Views: 12545

Re: Project Carma

Question. Can I comment a bit on the plot?
by I_am_person
Fri Dec 23, 2016 5:29 am
Forum: Stories & Storytelling
Topic: Project Carma
Replies: 21
Views: 12545

Re: Project Carma

Well, if you truly want to improve, I'll say two things upfront. One thing that I immediately notice is the use of things like, "KAPOW" and "PEW PEW PEW". Now, I'm not saying that that's a terrible thing to do, but what I've noticed from reading other people's fanfictions(as well...
by I_am_person
Thu Dec 22, 2016 11:47 pm
Forum: Stories & Storytelling
Topic: One final chance: An FTL-RP
Replies: 899
Views: 309683

Re: One final chance: An FTL-RP

He narrowly evaded a missile as Kr burst into the room. Sensing that the fight would come to him sooner or later, he put the ship on autopilot, then turned around to the sight of two bodies tumbling towards him. Getting up, he jumped to the bomb on the ground. Shooting it with his stunner to disable...
by I_am_person
Thu Dec 22, 2016 6:35 am
Forum: Stories & Storytelling
Topic: One final chance: An FTL-RP
Replies: 899
Views: 309683

Re: One final chance: An FTL-RP

The ship jumped in with a flash, revealing the scene unfolding in front of it. There was a zoltan/engi research station with a rebel fighter near it, hovering threateningly. The station must have done something to piss them off because their burst laser and Leto missile was already charging. Knowing...
by I_am_person
Wed Dec 21, 2016 4:10 am
Forum: Stories & Storytelling
Topic: One final chance: An FTL-RP
Replies: 899
Views: 309683

Re: One final chance: An FTL-RP

Cathos was sitting in his seat the whole ordeal, soda can in hand. He had the ship comms on in a speaker at the back for a while. When he started hearing loud noises, though, he stood up as if he was getting out of a deck chair and sauntered over to it to shut it off. It was disturbing his peace. Af...
by I_am_person
Mon Dec 19, 2016 10:59 pm
Forum: Stories & Storytelling
Topic: One final chance: An FTL-RP
Replies: 899
Views: 309683

Re: One final chance: An FTL-RP

Wait, why would a random, run-of the mill pirate ship which the rebels outfitted to blow up have a secret storage where there's important android parts? While Nazia appreciated the gesture, she wondered why Kr called her as such. Does he actually not know my name? A compliment? An insult? Wait. I g...
by I_am_person
Sat Dec 17, 2016 6:27 pm
Forum: Stories & Storytelling
Topic: One final chance: An FTL-RP
Replies: 899
Views: 309683

Re: One final chance: An FTL-RP

"No need to fire, Cathos." Targon responded, "Looks like Nazia has it under control." Well I said that the last guy's shirt was flak-ridden because he was the weapons guy so I assumed that you'd... Actually it was pretty subtle. I mean if you don't want to write it I wouldn't mi...