The Captain wrote:More spelling/grammar/usage stuff:
Sector name: "Bio-Hazard* at 8.251.71" - "Biohazard."Speaking as a retired EMT, and current fire department volunteer, "bio-hazard" is perfectly acceptable in my line of work.
That may be so, but I'm of the opinion if the hyphen doesn't need to be in there, leave it out.
'Your Mantis is coughing up some acid as you approach it. "Better stand back* Captain...." ' - add comma after "back."Disagree but it's debatable. Commas should usually indicate natural pausing points in speech, and most people would not pause there. But, as I said, it's debatable these days.
Not just natural pausing points in speech, but also before or surrounding the name or title of a person directly addressed. (I will concede that a title used when directly addressing someone should be capitalized.)
Re: the new Crystal Lockdown Blast weapons - the label on the weapons for the UI was too low. "Lockdown" appeared at the bottom of the weapon box, and "II" or "I" below the box. Also I hated them. They're just too slow, which far outweighs their brief lockdown and even the high breach % of the Mk II. I'm going back to the regular Crystal weapons, which are slow but more tolerable.
And yet more...
'The Crystal ask
* you to talk in private.... "I've done it** Captain, I reproduced the secret retaliation device of our war-fleet
*** aboard your ship." ' - [And it still sucks. But flying the Crystal A, I had two to sell.] 1) asks; 2) comma after "it"; 3) war fleet.
'You follow the distress beacon to small asteroid belt. You find a small ship struggling to maneuver.... They message
* you,** "Help! Our shields are down*** and I don't know ...." ' - 1) I think this should be "It messages," referring to the ship; 2) colon instead of comma; 3) add comma after "down."
"You spot a small Rebel ship nearby. It seems to have been re-fitted
* for transport ..." - refitted.
"During the conversation, the Rockman reveals that one of the reasons for it
* to leave the homeworlds is that it wasn't allowed to marry its great love. The couple was from different casts
**." - 1) "it decided" sounds better to me; 2) What, "Mamma Mia!" and "Les Miserables"?
"The satellite breaks apart* and you collect what remains functional." - add comma after "apart."
"During the conversation, the Rockman says it is content to serve.... judge it by its low cast
*." - caste
"A quick scan after you arrive reveals high concentrations of fuel... You are about to begin extraction* when your targeting detection
** lights up. A corporate scout has staked its claim here*** and they seem...." - 1) add comma after "extraction"; 2) "target detector" is better, I think; 3) add comma after "here."
"An advanced* Rebel automated ship remains stationed** near a small Rebel space station." - 1) is this supposed to be "advance"? The ship didn't seem that advanced to me; 2) while correct, I don't like "stationed" used so close to "station"; either remove "stationed" or perhaps replace with something like "posted."
The Rockman is seriously wondering how it feels to be burned... "What do you mean by "pain",* Captain?"
- Single quote marks around 'pain,' and comma inside the last quote.
'Once you arrive at the location of the distress call* a small cargo ship hails you,** "Shiny! Glad you are not another pirate. We got ambushed by some outlaws*** and our shield power couplers...." ' - 1) add comma after "call"; 2) replace comma with colon; 3) add comma after "outlaws."